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The Daily Doings of Steph

October fever has struck, it’s Day One and we’re all glued to the tube or Internet. Great fun!

Go BoSox!

Rick, one of my baseball buddies forwarded this little gem to me this afternoon. It’s hilarious:

NEW YORK METS TO NEW YORK YANKEES FAN CONVERSION APPLICATION
Thank you for your interest in becoming a member of the New York Yankees Fan
Club. Due to an unprecedented volume of requests, we are currently
processing only fan conversion applications for New York Mets fans.
Conversion requests from other teams will be processed after all Met
requests are processed. We expect this to take a number of weeks based on
the current backlog of requests.
Please take a few moments to fill out the conversion form below to help us
get to know you better, and to prescribe any required counseling to help you
recover from your previous Mets fan experience.
Name:
_______________________________________________________________________
Last (Please Print) First MI
Mailing Address:
_____________________________________________________________________
# Street
_____________________________________________________________________
City State Zip
Email Address:
____________________________________

1. Please indicate each time you watched the NY Mets win the
World Series (check all that apply):
[ ] 1969 (Please provide your AARP membership number to receive
senior citizen discount offers on Yankees tickets and
merchandise _________________________)
[ ] 1986
[ ] I have never witnessed this event

2. Please indicate your favorite moments in Mets history (Check all
that apply):
[ ] Nolan Ryan traded for Jim Fregosi
[ ] Timo Perez forgets to run in the World Series
[ ] Scott Kazimir traded for Victor Zambrano
[ ] Al Leiter allowed to throw 164 pitches in a World Series game
[ ] Joel Pinero (American League reject) shuts the Mets out 3-0
[ ] Knocked out of 1st place with 17 games remaining & a 7 game lead
[ ] Bobby Valentine thrown out of the game, comes back with fake
mustache & glasses
[ ] Armando Benitez cracks under pressure
[ ] Paul LoDuca caught with 19 year old Huntington girl

3. Reasons you believe the Mets have not won a World Series since 1986
(Check all that apply):
[ ] Lack of Pitching
[ ] Lack of Hitting
[ ] Poor Management
[ ] Lack of Defense
[ ] Bad calls by Umpires

4. Have you experienced any of the following after another inevitable
Mets loss (Check all that apply):
[ ] Headache [ ] Uncontrolled Anger
[ ] Heartache [ ] Holes punched in doors or walls
[ ] Nausea [ ] Smashed TV screens
[ ] Depression [ ] Avoided Yankees fans for days or weeks

5. Is October your least favorite month of year?
[ ] Yes [ ] No

6. Are you tired of saying “Wait till next year?
[ ] Yes [ ] No

7. Are you ready to admit that:
a) Joe Torre is a better manager than Bobby V. or Willie.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
b) Derek Jeter is better than Jose Reyes.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
c) The Rocket never intentionally threw at Piazza.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
d) The American League is far superior to the National League.
[ ] Yes [ ] No
e) The DH Rule is a great thing.
[ ] Yes [ ] No

If your application is approved, you will receive:
* A recommended recuperation program which includes a recording of
Frank Sinatra singing “New York, New York” over and over again.
* An opportunity to obtain tickets to the 2007 World Series at
Yankee Stadium.
* Posters of Jeter & Rodriguez in Yankee uniforms wearing their
championship rings.
* A dart board sporting a picture of Omar.
* A copy of our popular handbook, “Harassing Met Fans for Fun
and Profit”.
* A coupon for a future poster of Johan Santana in a Yankee
uniform.
* A special DVD of Jose Reyes defensive highlights and a never-
before-seen video of his audition for the Tin Man in the Wizard
of Oz singing “If I Only had a Heart”.
* A one-year membership to a weekly support group for ex-Met
fans in your area.

If your application is rejected, you will receive:
* Our pity and condolences, plus a 26 second video capturing the
past 30 years of Mets highlights in head-to-head competition
against the Yankees, narrated by Tom Seaver.

I hereby renounce the NY Mets for all eternity on this the
_______day of_________________, 200__
_____________________________________
(Signed)

Mail this completed form to:
New York Yankees
Attn: Fan Conversion Dept.
Yankee Stadium
161st St and River Ave
Bronx, NY 10452

After reviewing your application, the Yankees Fan Club will contact you with
notification of approval or rejection. If accepted to the Yankees Fan Club,
destroy all your remaining Mets clothing, memorabilia, and associated
reminders (we recommend you destroy these items even if your application is
rejected).

If rejected, the Yankees Fan Club will once again accept conversion
applications after the All-Star break in 2008, so please mark you calendar.

________________________________________________________________________
(Office Use Only)
[ ] Approved
[ ] Rejected
_________________________________________
Sincerely, George M. Steinbrenner

This entry was posted on Wednesday, October 3rd, 2007 at 3:29 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow responses via my RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response or trackback from your site.